Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I Remember Mama

The inaugural post is by Julie, a beautiful and brilliant Pembroke Welsh Corgi with keen observational skills, strong opinions,and (dare we say it?) a biting sense of humor.

It’s all about us, folks. Us dogs and what we go through to train you people. Can I get a witness? Bark or howl. You with the appendages in the back, just wag them.

I’m Julie, a fabulous Pembroke Welsh Corgi and my column is designed to report life from the corgi’s eye view. As the Head Corgi In Charge (you thought I was going to say H.B.I.C.?) of my home, Corgi Manor, I’ve got a lot of responsibility. Nothing I can’t handle and I run the household with ‘Pembroke Precision.’ If it moves, I herd it.

Of course, I learned from the best. My mother, Edna, was a corgi to be reckoned with. Descended from corgis holding titles in the USA and England, she was deemed too small to show and was sold. Actually, she was sold twice to folks that she somehow convinced to return her to her breeders. Apparently knowing from birth she was destined to live a life raising the humans that we humor by calling them Mom and Dad.

Edna came to fame in her own way.

The first time was by surviving an apartment fire where she was given mouth-to-muzzle resuscitation and CPR by a handsome and noble Gwinnett County Firefighter. She enjoyed the press and news appearances. Later, she co-hosted a cable television show with Mom.

People commented often on her beauty and sweetness. And pity the fool that got on the wrong side of Miss E!

One famous episode began when she was pregnant with me. She already had one litter to share the corgi love with others – though she kept Broadway, whom everyone referred to as ‘the jewel of Edna’s loins.’ Is that deep or what!

Anyway, Edna – great with child, er, litter, for the second time – is in the front yard handling her business, when the nosy lab next door comes over trash talking about her very short, very pregnant figure. In her zeal to handle the situation, Edna loses balance and falls on her back, feet in the air, helpless. There and then she made a vow of vengeance. Once these critters are outta me and I’m back in shape, you’re going down, Missy! It’s on!

And so it was to be for the rest of her life. When Edna was back in shape she pursued that lab every chance she got. Mom caught her once when she had chased the lab into its own garage, with her teeth in its neck, lab deliriously spinning in circles and Edna swinging on the side like a cheap carnival ride!

Even in her last year, when her back legs were crippled, she’d crawl up the hill with her front legs, growling through bared teeth and still scared the big lab off. No wonder Mom and Dad’s friends had key chains made that read “W.W.E.D.?”

Now I’m not advocating vendettas and violence mind you. Life is an adventure, folks. So the next time you’ve got a problem that seems bigger than you, remember W.W.E.D.? - then sink your teeth in and enjoy the ride!

Julie lives in her country estate, Corgi Manor. This canine columnis loves to travel anywhere there are people who haven’t had the chance to pet her.